So, White Women Are Less Demanding?
A black male recently wrote an explanation for his choice to date white women. I have heard so many versions of this rationale that I could count them to fall asleep. So, I’m stating my response for the record to which I will refer all subsequent reciters of this mantra. First, his story:
Even within our race their seems a sense of entitlements that should not exist. One of the things that caused me to get extremely frustrated with dating Black women was the sense of entitlement to dictating the way everything should go, as if they were owed something. They didn’t have to earn anything. When I was dating outside of Black women, that was different. I’ll give you two examples; Latina women will cook for you, Black women will tell you, “I ain’t your mother.” White women will chill in the house when you’re broke, Black women will tell you the second you decline going out, “How come we don’t ever go anywhere?!”
I know there are exceptions to the rule. But I’m very adamant about saying, that we are not judged by our inconsistencies, but by our consistencies. And if the large majority of you are one way, you need to huddle with your people about what the majority voice is before coming to me claiming to be the exception. I’ve been consistently happier dating white and Latina women than I have been dating Black women. I actually felt like I could be myself, I wasn’t living up to some norm or standard that I didn’t have any part in creating.”
Sir, you say about/to black females, “If the large majority of you are one way, you need to huddle with your people about what the majority voice is before coming to me claiming to be the exception.” Why don’t you apply this logic to white women? Every white person I have observed in an intimate association with a black person consistently deflects and derails that black person’s effort to counter racism (white supremacy). That includes the white men I have dated and the one I “married” years ago. I CANNOT be myself when I’m with someone who does that. Especially because countering racism (white supremacy) is my assigned mission given that no major problem that exists between people can be solved without first eliminating the system of racism (white supremacy). Those problems include the mammoth ones that exist between black males and black females.
Countering racism (white supremacy) is the activity in which I should be engaged at all times. No white person is going to support that or even tolerate it. A white bed-mate will constantly be telling you that white people have the same problems that you have and that it is not about color. That it is about “power” and “out-groups,” blah, blah, blah… It will be passive aggression and/or sly hate-f@cking throughout. As Neely Fuller says, “It turns the black person’s brain to mush.” The black person will not be not suspicious that the white person he/she is intimate with is a racist (white supremacist) and that clearance will extend to the vipers nest all around him/her.
It is true that black females too often fail to understand racism (white supremacy) and, so, will demand things that a black male is not likely allowed to consistently provide. A white woman will only demand that you don’t talk clearly and often about the most important facet of your existence. In so doing, she is really demanding that you don’t think clearly about it and, therefore, that you don’t think clearly about anything. A white woman will demand your sanity or your soul. Black females’ demands are child’s play compared to that. — Oh, and white women—and that includes many Hispanic women— are in a position to be relaxed with black males because they are in control. That is why they are less needy. But, white women are actually infinitely more greedy, especially the ones raiding the slave quarters.
Finally, black males often say that black females “don’t deserve” the material comforts that a black male can provide either during the attempted marriage or after. But, I have never heard either a white male or a black male say that about a white woman. Never. Is it that a black female must compensate for her lesser value to you? Is that what you mean when you say black females frustrated you by behaving as if we are owed something we “haven’t earned?” I suspect so. If I were dating you and you admitted that sad fact, I’d try to forgive you and give you space to heal from your brain-trashing. And, I hope you would be as patient with me as I worked to correct my expectations. Thankfully, I am in a partnership with a black male in which we both understand that we must work to help replace the system of racism (white supremacy) with a system of justice for us to ever have a chance at a fully supportive, mutual partnership. May you find the same.