So, White Women Are Less Demanding?

A black male recently wrote an explanation for his choice to date white women. I have heard so many versions of this rationale that I could count them to fall asleep. So, I’m stating my response for the record to which I will refer all subsequent reciters of this mantra. First, his story:

Even within our race their seems a sense of entitlements that should not exist. One of the things that caused me to get extremely frustrated with dating Black women was the sense of entitlement to dictating the way everything should go, as if they were owed something. They didn’t have to earn anything. When I was dating outside of Black women, that was different. I’ll give you two examples; Latina women will cook for you, Black women will tell you, “I ain’t your mother.” White women will chill in the house when you’re broke, Black women will tell you the second you decline going out, “How come we don’t ever go anywhere?!”

I know there are exceptions to the rule. But I’m very adamant about saying, that we are not judged by our inconsistencies, but by our consistencies. And if the large majority of you are one way, you need to huddle with your people about what the majority voice is before coming to me claiming to be the exception. I’ve been consistently happier dating white and Latina women than I have been dating Black women. I actually felt like I could be myself, I wasn’t living up to some norm or standard that I didn’t have any part in creating.”

My response:
Sir, you say about/to black females, “If the large majority of you are one way, you need to huddle with your people about what the majority voice is before coming to me claiming to be the exception.” Why don’t you apply this logic to white women? Every white person I have observed in an intimate association with a black person consistently deflects and derails that black person’s effort to counter racism (white supremacy). That includes the white men I have dated and the one I “married” years ago. I CANNOT be myself when I’m with someone who does that. Especially because countering racism (white supremacy) is my assigned mission given that no major problem that exists between people can be solved without first eliminating the system of racism (white supremacy). Those problems include the mammoth ones that exist between black males and black females.

Countering racism (white supremacy) is the activity in which I should be engaged at all times. No white person is going to support that or even tolerate it. A white bed-mate will constantly be telling you that white people have the same problems that you have and that it is not about color. That it is about “power” and “out-groups,” blah, blah, blah… It will be passive aggression and/or sly hate-f@cking throughout. As Neely Fuller says, “It turns the black person’s brain to mush.” The black person will not be not suspicious that the white person he/she is intimate with is a racist (white supremacist) and that clearance will extend to the vipers nest all around him/her.

It is true that black females too often fail to understand racism (white supremacy) and, so, will demand things that a black male is not likely allowed to consistently provide. A white woman will only demand that you don’t talk clearly and often about the most important facet of your existence. In so doing, she is really demanding that you don’t think clearly about it and, therefore, that you don’t think clearly about anything. A white woman will demand your sanity or your soul. Black females’ demands are child’s play compared to that. — Oh, and white women—and that includes many Hispanic women— are in a position to be relaxed with black males because they are in control. That is why they are less needy. But, white women are actually infinitely more greedy, especially the ones raiding the slave quarters.

Finally, black males often say that black females “don’t deserve” the material comforts that a black male can provide either during the attempted marriage or after. But, I have never heard either a white male or a black male say that about a white woman. Never. Is it that a black female must compensate for her lesser value to you? Is that what you mean when you say black females frustrated you by behaving as if we are owed something we “haven’t earned?” I suspect so. If I were dating you and you admitted that sad fact, I’d try to forgive you and give you space to heal from your brain-trashing. And, I hope you would be as patient with me as I worked to correct my expectations. Thankfully, I am in a partnership with a black male in which we both understand that we must work to help replace the system of racism (white supremacy) with a system of justice for us to ever have a chance at a fully supportive, mutual partnership. May you find the same.


9 Responses to “So, White Women Are Less Demanding?”

  1. CREE-EIGHT Says:

    I don’t think you’re crazy, rudeBoi. Thanks for stating your concerns. They will be heeded. And, I took your comments about my tragic past as you intended. Absolutely no offense taken. Know that you are appreciated as well, sir.

  2. CREE-EIGHT Says:

    EastSideFlyer, that confirmation was EXTREMELY important.

    This and things like it need to be shared all day everyday to help black people wrap our minds around what is happening to us and the thick wall of deceit that separates our perceptions from reality. It’s like the scene in the film “Schindlers List” when the bodies from mass graves were exhumed and burned, or; when the people in the work/torture camps of the Nazi regime were given street clothes so that when the atrocities began to be suspected by other Jews, all the pictures would look like they were not being abused/killed as they had been. Yes, it IS that bad.

  3. EastSideFlyer Says:

    Or, Cree, all the deaths of young black male by police and the police seem to have the same story…”he pointed something at me”. I believe this is something they just say knowing that they won’t be questioned because you know ALL black men carry guns and will point them at you even when you already have your gun pointed at them with your finger on the trigger. Now get this, you have your gun pointed at me with your finger on the trigger and I then reach into my pocket or what ever, pull my gun out, and aim it at you. Now, who would do such a thing? But this is accepted over and over and even by black people. This shows how little we thing of ourselves.

    I use to read meters in St Louis and one day I came upon several white police officers talking. As I got close to them one of them said, “everyone of them we stop, if they have any kind of record, we should make them get out of the car and get on their knees, then walk behind them and shoot them in the back of their heads. And you know who “them” are. This guy did not care that I heard this and/or assumed I didn’t know what he was talking about. So, yes, I do believe a lot of the killings of young black men are by the police but since no one thinks anything of black people, who cares.

  4. CREE-EIGHT Says:

    “I suspect a white person wrote this.”—Interesting. Could be. White people do things routinely that we would never begin to suspect or imagine. I often wonder how many “gang related” deaths of black males were committed by white enforcement officials.

  5. EastSideFlyer Says:

    You know, I’m tired of hearing black males tell all these excuses for not wanting black women that these white women have put in their heads. These white women put these ideas into these weak negros minds and the negro is so happy to have a white woman he readily accepts it as fact. They say things like the black woman is always bitching and the black woman always wants someone to give her something. There are more black women working than black men so why would she need anything from us? These are the type negros that are constantly chasing after the lite skinned black women with the long straight (good) hair and who wear the shorter and tighter clothing. It’s obvious what you are getting in to because of her being that way. So when the woman lets the negro know he has to pay to play, the negro then says black women think they are entitled to something. She’s that way because there are negros that don’t mind paying to play and then when they get tired they move on so she says I might as well get something from these negros because he only wants me for sex anyway. The white woman doesn’t have to ask the black man for anything because he’s automatically going to give her everything because this is a “prize” for him and she feeds this negative stuff to his immature mind. I suspect a white person wrote this. He mentions the black female getting with her people. A black man would not make this statement.

    Also, I can’t add anything to Cree’s response. I concur 150%

  6. rudeboi Says:

    I’m so glad to hear a Black woman speak like this. And Sista, please keep all drinks with you when you leave the table and trust no one. I would hate for someone to slip you a mickey and your lose your mind and end up with a “gentleman”.

    Allow me CREE to please tell you I’m sorry for saying those things up there. I was merely joking and trying to convey the respect and appreciation I have for you. Please, don’t think me crazy, I’m harmless to all Black people and especially Black women.

  7. CREE-EIGHT Says:

    Here. Here.

  8. It would be so refreshing if Black males who want white females just do so and not feel the need to justify it by way of condemning the womb from which they came. I personally could never lay with a white male but if I were to lose my mind and perhaps be deeply drugged and commit such a crime against myself, I still wouldn’t speak against my father, brothers, son or husband.
    I would however like to ask the “gentleman” if he can honestly say he treated the Black women he dated with the same sense of “privilege” that he did the white women?

  9. screwutoo Says:

    OMFG!!! First let me say that my heart broke into a million and one pieces. My CREE dated and then (bite my tongue) married a cave dweller? Oh! I’m not very codified but I try. The thought of “my CREE” in the clutches of white man does my heart no good and to think of………..never mind.

    Any Black man that runs down these tired reason for dating “outside” his race is just as tired as some cracka running down racist stereotypes. PLEASE!! the reason you date “outside” is cause you want to. You want something different and something maybe easy. You are mostly insecure and have had problems satisfying Black women, my women. You are for the most part a boy and having it easy is the line from which you came. I am a life long lover of Black women and all that bs that some say about Black women, my women is garbage. I was married to a independent Black woman who had a voice and used it often. I loved her for that cause she didn’t hang on me and when I didn’t feel like going, she would hop in the car and go. That was cool with me. And the biggest part about having a Black women next to me was it was a reflection of me. Yes, I want my woman to be a direct reflection of me. I want her to have my experiences living in this skin and able to talk to me about it. I want to see her mother and hear her stories. I want to see her father and still feel respect for Black men. A white woman……I’m to far beyond novelties to entertain that headache.

    FYI: please tell gentleman I still mean no disrespect and it’s me rudeboi but for some reason they wanna call me screwutoo.

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