USE TIME —NOT SEX—AS THE PRIMARY BAIT
My suggestion for black females whose ultimate goal is to replace white supremacy (racism) with justice: Find your a-alike early— before age 28 by being very serious about important things. Hold out on the cookies. At least hold out on the regular cookies. When he comes back around, and comes back around, and comes back around…Hold firm on sensible, compassionate, stable behavior from him to get time with you. TIME not cookies. If his behavior doesn’t feel good to you, don’t accept it. When he shows that he’s putting in work to see you and planning thoughtful dates and being on time and you can talk on the phone for hours….and, you’re still feeling him….then, the cookies. Cause he’s trying to lock you down by now. And, you’re still young enough to have babies. And, because you want to–really, really want to.
Proviso: He may have made one or two babies with someone else by then. But, under these conditions, that’s still a good deal and you can still be happy and productive as a Counter-Racist couple.
This will work, I think, if you’re older than 28 when you start, especially if you have no more than one child yourself. But you may not be able to have babies with your a-like if you start later than that.
Oh, I want to let the ladies know this process can take six or seven years. So, have a purpose for existing besides him. And, yes, be prepared for hurt feelings before it all pans out. But, no cursing at him. And, if he’s your a-alike, you won’t feel like doing that anyway. One more thing. Ask at least 200 questions BEFORE you get horizontal— or before you get horizontal again— if it’s too late for that.
Disclaimer: I make no representations as a behavioral/mental/ emotional health professional. Do not replace any suggestion herein w/ that of your own judgment.