Bait, Ratchet, or a Black Female Begging to be Affirmed as a Female?
A ratchet is commonly what one means when referring to socket wrenches that are thrown back carelessly into a mechanic’s tool box by his greasy, dirty hands. In mechanical terms, a ratchet is a female part that is used to fix the male connector of something.
The tough, loud, lewd, often obese, less than human, and MUCH less than ladylike black female is called a ratchet. That is the overwhelming representation of black females in film, television, music videos, internet hype videos, and, thus, the general regard of everyone. So, “ratchet” is really a term that can be applied to any black female—A female who is just marginally one. So that a black male in drag is thought to be an adequate representation of us. Since we are basically just men in drag, when we get unruly and combative, there is no reason not to punch us as if we were men in drag.
In the last post on this blog, I referenced an explanation given to me by a black male cyber-friend, S-Dot, about the black female high school student who screamed in her black male classmate’s face asking him to hit her. S-Dot said that the girl saying that she was going to get someone to f@#K the boy up was an indication that she was acting as bait to get some other boy hurt when this other boy came to her defense. That may very well be the case. However, her out-of-control behavior may be just as likely or more likely to be that explained in a response to S-Dot’s interpretation.. What LBM said goes to the very core of what matters here:
I think I understand what S-Dot said. Here’s another take on Black female “baiting.” Oftentimes it’s not bait for an altercation but ‘bait” for verification/validation – verification of what she hopes is a fact that yes, she may be “reprimanded” , but she will ultimately be treated as gently/femininely as possible. The problem here is that the mental illness of black females is simply not acknowledged. There have been studies on prisoners kept in solitary confinement revealing that many of them “bait” prison guards just to have “interaction.” Are they asking to be stun-gunned, bitten by dogs, beaten by 6-7 officers or shot? Of course they ‘re not. They simply need human – even if it is inhumane – contact. The same way so many Black females keep begging for some sort of affirmation from Black males. It is sick. They “bait” wanting attention, wanting confirmation that they are indeed “female” and thus will not be knocked out. The young lady in the Cleveland case said “I can’t believe he hit me like that”. Even in a possibly drunken stupor she thought he would see her as the female she wanted to believe she was.
I’m really not understanding why some Black males refuse to recognize mental illness in Black females. I don’t understand why some Black males feel that mental illness in Black females should be met with violence- while at the same time EXPECTING Black females to understand what the white man’s racism has done to him. This is the wall I’m “baiting” for some Black males on this blog to penetrate for me. I know Black males who haven’t worked in 2-3 years who are depressed as hell but they live with women whom they EXPECT to understand and stand by. I know black males who are ex-cons and perpetually underemployed and ornery yet live with women they know are being abused on their job but EXPECT them to come home and “take their position.” ?? I also know Black males who KNOW ” a bitch is crazy” yet still pursues her and EXPECTS her not to be crazy with him and accepts whatever support she offers – and yet feels justified in knocking her out when she gets “out of line.” We have some serious craziness going on in our “communities” and much of it centers around our mistreatment of Black female. We can continue to have a lot of movement around combating white domination – but we will continue to have very little FORWARD movement if we don’t attend to this internal problem that frankly has been a dis-ease since we were forced on those ships, if not well before, as evidenced by the fact that we’re even in this mess.
What can you do if you are a black male to help affirm the femininity of black females? I’ll tell you the kinds of things that worked for me. Let black females see you doing the following:
+ Give your seat up to a black female if she is standing; especially if she is pregnant or elderly
+ Stop to offer to help push a black female’s car that has stalled in the middle of the road
+ Offer to escort black females from class at night when you know there is string of unsolved rapes and/or murders in the area
+ Offer to help carry heavy packages for a black female
+ Greatly limit profane language around black females—even if you hear black females being profane
+ Encourage your daughters and nieces to wear skirts and dresses and tell them how pretty they look when they do
+ Walk your daughter into school until she is out of middle school—even if you walk behind her to give her social space
+ Learn how to repair a few things like closet doors, door locks, or table legs and offer your skills free of charge at least three times a year to a black female
+ Compliment a black female who is not light-skinned on her complexion if it is blemish-free and glowing.
Don’t expect black females to immediately trust you when you display these gentlemanly behaviors. It will help if you do your very best to separate these behaviors from those designed to get you sexual intercourse in a direct and quick way. Give it some time to catch on and sink in. No pun intended, sincerely. Perhaps that pun will help you remember the selflessness that goes with the manly behavior that will help regenerate the working relationship that black males and black females will need to triumph over Racist Man, Racist Woman, and Racist Child.
For advice to black females on how to resume a more feminine presentation when this heat comes off and even before, I recommend visiting the amazing posts on blackfemininity.com.