An Official Withdrawal From The Battle For Black Manhood

An excerpt from the blog, forharriet.com:

On D.L. Hughley and Others: My Official Withdrawal From The Battle For Black Manhood
Friday, November 2, 2012

“I did not see Hughley, Harvey or any of the other men who use their huge platforms to tell us how awful we are, comment on the recent viral videos of Black women being assaulted. With few exceptions, men abided a code of silence when video of rapper Lil Reese viciously beating a young became the talk of the internet. They didn’t question why violence against “angry, unladylike” Black women like Shi’Dea Lane in Cleveland is deemed entertainment. And when I attempted to begin a conversation about why men would stand by and watch these woman be attacked, some men I knew opted to confront me about my unfair portrait of black men as abuse apologists. These experiences are disheartening but telling. Even when it is about Black women, it’s about Black men. While we fight for their humanity, they fight for our silence.

… For the moment, I’m out. Black men will have to fight for themselves. This is my official withdrawal from the Battle for Black Manhood.”

Read the rest of the piece here.

As my similar position has been stated on this blog in the piece, Part 5: Just Desserts for Black Males, I wish to associate myself with those remarks. I do hope that black males, collectively, give me a reason to be “in” again.

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45 Responses to “An Official Withdrawal From The Battle For Black Manhood”

  1. The reason I think the “white bus driver” scenario is important is because it shows the how different the interaction is when the conflict is within your race. If she would not have acted in that manner had he been white,that speaks volumes. And also if she was white and Artis showed restrain–that would also say a lot as well. The bottom line is we have to treat each other better. To me that is the larger issue. I think black men and women are starting to lose respect for each other in many ways. This incident just happen to bring it to light. But I do see the point you’re trying to make.

  2. CREE-EIGHT Says:

    Kushite Prince (KP), if we’re discussing whether she would have behaved the way she did with a white male driver, that’s a different discussion. A valid one. And, one I’m willing to have at some point.

    But, not now.

    Why?

    Because whenever black females try to address issues unique to us it quickly turns into a discussion about black males.
    —————————————————————————————————————————

    Now, you said, “I believe some women believe many men are passive when it comes to women and no matter what they wont hit them. That’s my take. What do you think?”

    I think that, as LBM said in the piece, “Bait, Ratchet, or a Black Female Begging to be Affirmed as a Female?”, many black females are desperately angling for just the opposite: that a black male is strong enough and values her as a female enough that when she “puts her hands on him,” she will receive “verification of what she hopes is a fact that yes, she may be ‘reprimanded’ , but she will ultimately be treated as gently/femininely as possible.”

    Film is replete with scenes of white women slapping, kicking, and punching leading men who stoically receive the blow without wincing, restrain the woman, and go on to show her that he is ultimately about something for the greater good. Only the most savage sort of “Russian gangsters” who are murderers hit white women in such a rare movie scene. Hitting a white woman— even when she hits a white man— is seen as equal in savageness to murder for hire. That’s how high in esteem white men hold white women. And, when film shows white women hitting white men without white men returning the blow, the intent is to show just that: White women are highly prized and the white man is manly enough to handle even the most shrill of them.

    But, we’ve got too, too many black men acting just the opposite.

    When these too many black men stop trying to find some kind of justification for that punch for their pathetic under-valuing of those who can reproduce them, I’m willing to talk about Miss Lane’s rabid misbehavior. Looks like that’s gonna be a long time from now.

  3. I see where you’re coming from. I was speaking to a friend of mine about this incident. He’s “pro-punch” if a woman gets ignorant. I told him that if she was a white women there’s no way Artis would have hit her. I think he would have thought about what would happen to him by hitting a young white woman. Just like the mail carrier didn’t hit that white woman. Who was racist and ignorant as hell. My friend said, “Maybe or maybe not. Maybe he was having a really bad day and just snapped! But what if the girl was black and the bus driver was an older white man. Do you think she would have acted in that manner?” M friend thinks that she thought she could act like that with an older black man because he’s an elder and he would put up with it. I believe some women believe many men are passive when it comes to women and no matter what they wont hit them. That’s my take. What do you think?

  4. CREE-EIGHT Says:

    KP, I have heard the “elder” reasoning numerous times to rationalize that indefensible excessive force. There has never been any argument that what Ms. Lane did was incorrect and required a corrective action including penalty. But, that “elder” angle is just used as an excuse to try to justify savage treatment of a black female. It is ENTIRELY disingenuous. Again, if the passenger had been the same age but not black, we wouldn’t be talking about this. I find that rationalization disgusting..

  5. @Cree
    I found a post by someone I usually agree with on black issues. This was his recent post regarding the “bus driver” incident. he looked at it from the perspective of we should respect our elders. I must admit that’s an angle I never looked at it from.I’m curious what your thoughts are on his post.

    “Professor Manu Ampim teaches us that in African culture, there is a fundamental distinction that has to be made between an “elder” and “older” person. An older person has simply lived a longer life than most of people, but it not considered one who deserves high praise and respect. This is because the older person’s life has not been a positive example for the community. An older person could be a thief or drunkard, an evil person, or could be someone who never married and had children, and thus these examples would certainly prevent a person from being considered a respected elder.

    An elder, on the other hand, is someone who is given the highest status in African culture because he or she had lived a life of purpose, and there is nothing more respected than living a purposeful life. The life of an elder is centered in the best tradition of the community, and is a living model for the other groups in the society to emulate. An elder is given the highest status and along with new infants because these two groups represent the closest links to the wisdom of the spirit world.

    Our elders shape who we become, as individuals and as a community. It was our elders who affirmed for us early after Reconstruction that our values of hard work, racial pride, integrity, and dignity were the cornerstones of the success of our future generations. It was our elders who stood up in the face of certain death (I’m thinking Sojurner Truth and Harriet Tubman) to liberate their children. Our elders have kept alive the revolutionary spirit of the past, and are the embodiment of our struggles.For these reasons, the youth must be taught to respect their elders.
    Paying homage to your elders is more than offering an older woman your seat on a crowded bus, or listening to grandpa’s World War II stories. We should be humbled in their presence, and listen to their counsel without ego. It is accepting their council without debate. Their advice should be received respectfully, and meditated upon. Of course, not all advice is good advice, but I would venture to say that after a few years these men and women have picked up a thing or two.

    For those of our elders who bear the psychological and social scars of America’s racial and prison-industrial complex, they should be treated with empathy, and held in the same regard as any other venerable elder – for they too possess jewels of wisdom that we in our youth can learn from. Remember – you can learn just as much from a “bad” example as you can learn from a “good” example.

    On a larger scale, every Black community should establish a council of elders to both guide that particular community, and to serve as an example of the proper role that elders should play. There are many indigenous African societies that go so far as to exclude all but the wisest of elders from seats within government. These elders are then consulted in a variety of matters, ranging from family or marriage disputes, community-wide issues, naming of buildings and community centers, and directing resources to supporting important projects.

    We can all agree that the Black community suffers from a disconnect – both physically and psychically – from our past. If we are to move forward, that disconnect must be remedied. Without a council of elders most Black communities will remain disorganized and lacking direction and effective leadership.
    Until the day comes when we have that, I will be standing right next to that elderly bus driver to assure him that I would have hit her ratchet ass, too!”

    I was also surprised at that last line.WTF?? He’s such an intelligent and conscious brother. I couldn’t believe he called her ratchet. smh So,what do you think?

  6. CREE-EIGHT Says:

    Ron Johnson you said, “This is their country, their power structure, and THEIR RULES. They own the TV stations, the media, and everything else of influence.” Then, “DL Hughley is a brave voice, walks the talk, and obviously loves his black women. Black’s people worst enemy are black people. Black’s are trying to shut people like him and others up, not white people.”

    Now, following the logic, why would white folks promote the comments of Hughley if it didn’t support their system of domination over black folks?

    I’d address your comments about Mr. Vick but I do not know him to be a black male who is supportive of black females. The pieces on this blog in which Mr. Vick is a central character were written before I found the logic to tell me that I have no dog in that fight.

  7. @ ALCHEMIST
    Sorry, but my Facebook page isn’t my life, therefore there’s not a lot of content on it. Also, I can assure you, I’m black as night. If you must know about me, I support and greatly respect black females who want to clean up the issues plaguing the black community and who are brave enough to criticize bad black females. I routinely comment negatively on hood black men just as much as I comment negatively on ratchet black women. And yes, I listen to various blog talk shows and comment. (That is the purpose on online radio- is it not?). By the way, my pitpull avatar is meaningful to me because I own two pits. I know this will shock you, but I made youtube videos putting Michael Vick on blast for torturing and fighting his pits. Yes, Alchemist, there are black men who actually criticize black men just as much as black women. Your judgment of me based on my Facebook page is just as ignorant as most people’s knowledge of the pitbull breed.

    @Cree
    I see white women being put on a pedestal over black women all the time and just as disgusted by it as you, but guess what? This is their country, their power structure, and THEIR RULES. They own the TV stations, the media, and everything else of influence. If you care about defeating white supremacy, you fight fire with fire. This means we organize, develop economically, and develop group cohesion. Part of developing group cohesion is getting rid of the poison in the community that prevents cohesiveness. Why do Jews make up 5% of the US population and own between 30% – 40% of the nation’s wealth.(I’m guessing that percentage based on the overwhelming number of Jewish millionaires). They figured out what blacks have not. Jews embraced and built economic power, group cohesiveness, and industry control, therefore American Nazism will never affect them.

    DL Hughley is a brave voice, walks the talk, and obviously loves his black women. Black’s people worst enemy are black people. Black’s are trying to shut people like him and others up, not white people.

  8. “I guess we’re supposed to shut-up and don’t say anything because white people might hear us”

    Cree and LBM have been lobbying for Black males, not to shut up, but to SPEAK UP in support of Black women. There’s been absolutely no shortage of black males willing to speak up to call black females out of our names or label us in general according to specific cases. But when we ask for simple verbal acknowledgement of our general victimization, there’s very few respondents. I’ve even noted some black males calling those Black males who do acknowledge us some unfitting names.

    I’m really interested in why some black males want to stay concentrated on the specific behavior of the one female in the Cleveland bus incident. We’ve have tried to use that as a catalyst for a much larger consideration of Black female as a whole but the resistance has been jarring. As it turns out, it’s a good thing because it’s prompted more Black women to face some hurtful realities in terms of how were regarded by “our own” males (in general)–but still, it’s foul how so many refuse to expand beyond this one female actin’ the fool in a drunkin’ haze.

    Note : The Cleveland bus driver has been fired. The white AUTHORITIES (since we don’t acknowledge our own common sense) have said he did nothing to maintain calm and in fact, the ten-plus minutes he spent threatening to get his children to kick the female’s ass and commenting on the scar she got from reportedly being previously shot in the face – was unprofessional and escalated the situation. So for his willingness to handle a black female in distress the way he did, the white folk took away his livelyhood. And at 60, unless he’s done something financially that most of us have not…

  9. THE ALCHEMIST Says:

    @ Cree

    Ron Johnson’s Facebook page looks new. HIs avatar is a pit bull dog (very provincial). The info section says he:

    “Like discussing hot button social issues. Society, Cultures, Religion, Politics. If I offend you, oh well, too bad! If you disagree with me, you better come with facts or else, I’ll just embarrass you.”

    This makes him sound like someone that calls into talk radio drive time shows to rant on abortion, welfare, etc. A favorite pass time of white males.

    He says in his post to your blog that he is concerned about poison destroying the black community. There is nothing on his Facebook page about racism/ white supremacy or black people. It looks shiny and new. I didn’t see any of the standard black love pix, talk of black men anchoring strong black families or the impact of the system of racism white supremacy on black families. I have no comments for “Ron” only two questions:

    @Ron

    1) Are you classified as a black (non-white) person?

    2) If so, when did you first learn that you were a black (non-white) person and how did you know it?

  10. CREE-EIGHT Says:

    Ron Johnson, no black female that I’m aware of has been appalled at the disdain of black males for “ratchet” behavior.

    We have been appalled that most black males find it acceptable to express that disdain in the approval of landing an upper-cut punch by a black male to the jaw of a much smaller female who behaved in an incorrect and deranged way but who posed no commensurate physical threat.

    AND, we are appalled that black males apply the term “ratchet” only to the incorrect behavior of black females. But, not, for instance, the white women on “Girls Gone Wild” videos , or the white female on the Australian train, or the one threatening the black male postal carrier. White folks regard these white women as distasteful and suffering from mental illness. So, do black males.

    But, a black female is none of those things. She is a ratchet.

  11. What amazes me is the anger coming from black females such as Cree and others who are appalled that black men are actually pointing out their disdain for the ratchet behavior of some black women. I guess we’re supposed to shut-up and don’t say anything because white people might hear us. Many of the black men who are speaking up have black wives and daughters and are specifically trying to make sure that their daughters don’t fall into the ratchet behavior of black women we see splattered on TV, the Internet, and real life.

    D.L. Hughley has been in a committed relationship with his black wife and raising two black girls, which gives his words more credibility than 80% of the people commenting on this blog. He represents the America black family in its most positive form, yet you vilify him for stating the obvious.

    True heroes of society are black men and women who are willing to police up their own people and speak out against the poison that is destroying the community.

  12. @ loudnclearslap Thanks a lot brother. I really appreciate that. We all have to do our part. get our minds right and do what we need to do. Peace!

  13. The most “wretched” of white female continues to get the support of her man, and she in turn continues to support their (his and hers) domination of us.

  14. loudnclearslap Says:

    To Kushite Prince From Sonny:
    Sorry I took so long to reply
    You Said:
    “For black males: Standing up and risking what harm might come to them for protecting black females–for the ones who care to do so.

    For black females: Risking all that matters the most–the circle, what little support you have and then– abandonment. Next, isolation, and extra mistreatment from everyone.”

    I think this is the real test for all of us. But we are a people who are at the crossroads. It’s time to draw the line in the sand. if we really want to defeat and overcome white supremacy–we have to decide where we stand. Those who want to fight for the other team should let it be known. No time for “pussy-footing” around. What we face in this country and abroad is very SERIOUS. Our very survival is at stake. We need to end this silly ass gender war. Once we get past that,then we can move forward.
    All hands on deck! I’m in. Let’s go!

    Just wanted to say that I read it and appreciate it. Thanks ALL HANDS ON DECK!

  15. damn, another bus incident! smh i applaud the guy for trying to get away. http://ilpvideo.com/video.php?v=NDAwMTM

  16. woosah – something for the soul. my soul sistah from canada as not givin up too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qXSMzpjQVM&feature=channel&list=UL

  17. I want to make it clear that LBM is not “giving up on Black males.” I have men in my family, including my father, husband, and brothers who have DEMONSTRATED in word and deed their support of Black females. In fact, my grandfather, the main reason I LBM, taught me what to expect/accept from a man. I’m simply going back to what he and my father and my brothers taught me. And that is to offer no aid and no time to a man who has not taken on the responsibility of supporting himself, woman and family. My grandfather tolerated NO abuse of Black females, not verbally or physically. I grew up seeing him kick grown males out of his presence for calling black females names. I grew up witnessing him use his shotgun on someone who THREATENED, not even did, physical violence upon my grandmother. My husband was “taken to the side” by my uncles before marriage. My father made it clear that he was to support me at least to the extent that he (father) had. My uncles made it clear that violence was not an option and protection, NO MATTER WHAT, was expected even if I had to be dealt with thereafter.

    My husband was raised by his father to never abuse a woman in any way including living off her. He was taught, just like my uncles and brothers, to never wake up in a place where he doesn’t pay the rent/mortgage. He was taught to live according to what he could support and to stay prepared to “get his hands dirty” to support his woman and family. So I have no reason and no intention of giving up on Black males who have demonstrated love and support for me and my sistas.

    Now as for those black males who want to live in the apartments of Black females without paying rent…move into the homes of Black females and their children…request child support assistance for previous children…want help with job hookups, resumes, school applications…want compassion when his prostate blows up and his ding-a-ling can’t function…want support from a Black female when his diabetic leg is amputated…want signs and marching when the cops beat him up or kill him…want bail money or dollars on his commissary account…..want refuge after becky deflates and defeats him….all the while calling Black females bitches, gold diggers, white man co-conspirators….all the while endorsing – either through participation or silence – pornographic images of Black female, violence against Black female, rape of Black females including Black girls…..YES, the only way to stop this pathology is to stop playing a part in it. Black women need to WITHDRAW SUPPORT from those black males who continue to show contempt for Black females and who continue to demonstrate no desire to RWSWJ through their lack of even verbal defense (the lowest form) of Black women.

    Thursday on CREE Radio we hope to discuss some ways that Black females enable many Black males to be of no help in the fight against white domination. What we see as “SUPPORT” is apparently not constructive. We must withdraw before more of us are publicly (let alone privately) upper-cutted.

  18. THE ALCHEMIST Says:

    It gets worse, D.S.White is a black woman. A good christian black woman:

    http://deeswhite.com/about/

    KP is on correct in his statement:

    “The mainstream media has brainwashed many black men to see sistas as less than. And in a patriarchal society men want to dominate women. Brothers are going to have to de-program their minds if they want sistas to support them. You know what’s really sad? I think men like me maybe the minority. But also so are women like you. That means if sistas are going to give brothers blind allegiance–you have your work cut out for you. And by the same token,I have to convince more black men to support and speak out when black women are mistreated. I suggest we pull up our sleeves and get to work.”

  19. THE ALCHEMIST Says:

    More info on the first poem:

    The proper name for the poem is, “BEING A STRONG BLACK WOMAN CAN GETCHU KILLED”; written by Laini Mataka. The poem was stolen and passed around before the book even came out. The thief changed the ending, which was:

    Well, the Strong, Silent, Sh–t-takin blk woman is officially DEAD. Will the real queens,
    please RISE!”

  20. THE ALCHEMIST Says:

    I found a poem written as a response to “The Strong Black Woman Is Dead” by Laini Mataka

    Trigger Warning: This response is patriarchy soaked STFU to Laini

    Response by D.S. White:
    The Strong Black Woman is Dead! Or is She?No she’s not dead
    she’s just experienced a rebirth. Through the memories
    of her daughters and granddaughters
    who have learned
    from her triumphs and failures
    and realized
    that strength is knowing
    when to ask for help
    when to cry out
    when to be silent;

    She’s realized
    that what she’s experienced
    does not define or confine her
    that pride which prohibits healing
    is no longer a banner
    but a prison;

    She’s realized
    that she is a word spoken from God
    and as such
    cannot
    will not
    return to Him void.
    In essence she’s come full circle
    in realizing that
    servitude was not the problem
    just the master she served;

    She’s realized
    that being proactive
    is much more effective than being reactive
    so she chooses her battles wisely
    knowing when to fight
    and when to let it go
    her choice of weapons being
    an education
    proper financial planning
    and community involvement
    to enrich the next generation;

    She’s realized
    that it rains on the just and the unjust
    so she’s chosen
    not to harbor
    a sense of injustice;

    She’s realized
    that comparisons are self-defeating
    so she’s chosen
    to celebrate her uniqueness
    and strive for her personal best;

    She’s realized
    that loving
    not giving up on the black man
    is key
    so she’s chosen
    to start with her brothers
    uncles, cousins, nephews
    sons and grandsons
    for she knows
    the viral power of love;

    She’s realized
    that submission to her mate
    does not equate servitude
    so she’s chosen
    to embrace the peerless system
    of checks and balances
    as designed by God;

    But most of all
    she’s chosen…to forgive
    live in the present
    and love…always love.
    Selfless
    committed
    love
    which takes
    uncommon strength.

  21. CREE-EIGHT Says:

    KP, Now it’s my turn to say “Yes, I know.” Black women have a double dose of self-hatred. Most black women are virulent defenders of the mistreatment of black women. But, when it’s safe, especially when they see that there are back men who are active in denouncing it, they come around. Much quicker than black men. But, yes, it is even sadder in our case.

  22. CREE-EIGHT Says:

    THE ALCHEMIST, THAT is stultifying. Thank you so much. I will re-post this. Give me some time. WOW. Gotta catch my breath. Black women are so, so able. I’m so enjoying getting to know my sisters.

  23. THE ALCHEMIST Says:

    I found this poem online:
    poem by Laini Mataka of Washington, DC

    T H E S T R O N G B L A C K W O M A N IS D E A D!

    The strong black woman is dead
    The strong black woman is dead…on August 15, 1999 at 11:15 p.m. while struggling with the reality of being a human instead of a myth, the strong black woman passed away.

    Medical sources say she died of natural causes, but those who knew her know she died from being silent when she should have been screaming, smiling when she should have been raging, from being sick and not wanting anyone to know because her pain might inconvenience them.

    She died from an overdose of other people clinging to her when she didn’t have enough energy for herself. She died from loving men who didn’t love themselves, and only offer her a crippled reflection. She died from raising children alone and for not being able to do a complete job. She died from the lies her grandmother told her mother, and her mother told her about life, men and racism.

    She died from being sexually abused as a child and having to take that truth everywhere she went, everyday of her life, exchanging the humiliation for guilt and back again.

    She died from being battered by someone who claimed to love her. And she allowed the battering to go on, to show she loved him too.

    She died from asphyxiation, coughing up blood from secrets she kept trying to burn away instead of allowing herself the kind of nervous breakdown she was entitled to, but only white girls could afford.

    She died from being responsible, because she was the last rung on the ladder and there was no one under her she could dump on. The strong black woman is dead.

    She died from the multiple births of her children she never really wanted, but was forced to have by the strangling morality of those around her. She died from being a mother at 15, a grandmother at 30 and an ancestor at 45.

    She died from being dragged down and sat upon by un-evolved women posing as sisters. She died from pretending the life she was living was a Kodak moment instead of a 20th century, post slavery nightmare!

    She died from tolerating Mr. pitiful just to have a man around the house. She died from lack of orgasms because she never learned what made her body happy and no one took the time to teach her, and sometimes when she found arms that were tender, she died because they belonged to the same gender.

    She died from sacrificing herself for everybody and everything when what she really wanted to do was be a singer, a dancer, or some magnificent other.

    She died from lies of omission because she didn’t want to bring the black man down, she died from race memories of being snatched and raped, snatched and sold and snatched and bred, snatched and whipped and snatched and worked to death.

    She died from tributes from her counterparts who should have been matching her efforts instead of showering her with dead words and empty songs, she died from myths that would not allow her to show weakness without being chastised by the lazy and the hazy.

    She died from hiding her real feelings until they became hard and bitter enough to invade her womb and breast like angry tumors. She died from always lifting something from heavy boxes to refrigerators.

    The strong black woman is dead.

    She died from the punishments received from being honest about life, racism and men. She died from being called a bit-h for being verbal, a dyke for being assertive and a ***** for picking her own lovers. She died from never being enough of what men wanted, or being too much for the men she wanted.

    She died from being too black and died again for not being black enough. She died from castration every time somebody thought of her as only a woman, or less than a man.

    She died from being mis-informed about her mind, her body and the extent of her royal capabilities.

    She died from knees pressed to close together because respect was never part of the foreplay that was being shoved at her.

    She died from loneliness in birthing rooms and loneliness in abortion centers, she died of shock in courtrooms where she sat, alone, watching her children being legally lynched.

    She died in bathrooms with her veins busting open with self-hatred and neglect. She died in her mind, fighting life, racism, and men while her body was carted away and stashed in a human warehouse for the spiritually mutilated, and sometimes when she refused to die, when she just refused to give in, she was killed by the lethal images of blonde hair, blue eyes and flat butts, rejected by the O.J.’s, the Quincy’s and the Poitiers.

    Sometimes, she was stomped to death by racism and sexism, executed by hi-tech ignorance while she carried the family in her belly, the community on her head, and the race on her back!

    The strong silent, talking black woman is dead!!!!!!!!! Or is she still alive and kicking???????????? I know I’m still here.

  24. Yes I know what you’re saying. I just meant that celebs have a lot of influence and they’re giving a platform to speak. And unfortunately many of the masses follow them blindly. No matter how ignorant the comment may be. I also think the media has made black women invisible. And when they are seen its usually a negative stereotype. The mainstream media has brainwashed many black men to see sistas as less than. And in a patriarchal society men want to dominate women. Brothers are going to have to de-program their minds if they want sistas to support them. You know what’s really sad? I think men like me maybe the minority. But also so are women like you. That means if sistas are going to give brothers blind allegiance–you have your work cut out for you. And by the same token,I have to convince more black men to support and speak out when black women are mistreated. I suggest we pull up our sleeves and get to work.

  25. CREE-EIGHT Says:

    As you know, KP, it’s not just the celebrities. If it were, I’d not have come to this stance. People are on the web now as much as they used to be on the street. So, the kinds of reactions—or not—on the web I think are representative. I’d say your sample is skewed, KP, which is understandable. You’re not like these black men who hold black women in contempt. So, you don’t gravitate towards them and they don’t gravitate towards you. But, cmon. You must see what I’m seeing. I feel for the black men who have the courage of their principles and empathy, like you. Being painted by the necessary broad brush is most unpleasant. Just know that I’ll stand with you, KP, and men like my partner. May your numbers grow.

  26. CREE-EIGHT Says:

    @THE ALCHEMIST: And, what an ignorant/dumb mule I was. I did not really see the depth of the disregard that black males have for black females until I witnessed the inability of black males to say without equivocation that that upper-cut in Cleveland was an excessive use of force–even those with scores of hours clocked reading, hearing, talking about counter-racist code. But, now I know and everything else had been put into perspective.

  27. THE ALCHEMIST Says:

    You can only put so much weight on a mules back, force a mule to march so far, and beat a mule with a crop so many times before even the dumbest mule bolts.

    black male,

    “I can’t believe those angry and faithless mules had the audacity to bolt”

  28. @Cree
    You know Cree,this going to a long hard battle for liberation. Not only do have to fight against white racists.but we have to try to wake up the sleeping among our own. We are at WAR. There’s no doubt about it. That means that black men and women have to pull together in times like this. We can’t rely on Indians,Mexicans,Arabs and Asians to help us in this struggle.
    What I find frustrating is that rarely do I see any black man I can relate to in the mainstream media. The media gives me men like Steve Harvey,TD Jakes,D.L. Hughley,Tyler Perry,Lil Wayne and 50 Cent. That’s not very much of a variety. Where are the conscious responsible,pro-black heterosexual black men who love their women? Where are the black men who are involved in their communities? Where are the black men who mentor young boys and girls? Where are the black men who don’t condone the abuse of women?
    Actually I know quite a few. However you wont see them on your nightly news. I never saw my grandfather,father or any of my uncles hit their wives. My parents used to get in some heated arguments but my father NEVER hit my mother. I can’t relate to these black men that abuse women. I just didn’t grow up in that type of environment.,There are brothers who are putting in the work and speaking out but they are not given a voice.
    Cree,you have to keep in mind that black men(and women) in Hollyweird are told what they can and can NOT say. Black people in the film/music are on the plantation just like the rest of us. People like D.L. Hughley and the like,don’t have free will. They use black celebs to say ignorant comments to further divide us. Isn’t that the purpose of racist man and woman??
    I’ll just say I understand the frustration of the sistas out there. It’s not a good feeling to feel as though your men don’t care about your well being. It must be a heart-breaking ache in your gut. There’s a lot of healing that needs to take place.I just want you,Pam,LBM and the rest of the ladies to know that you’re not alone. And there are many black men who love and support our sistas. Many of them are not on Youtube,Twitter or have blogs. But trust–we’re out here.And we will stand with you in our fight for justice. It is sad that more brothers wont/can’t speak out. I can’t tell you what to do. You’re a grown woman and can make decisions for yourself. I can’t tell you to not withdraw support from brothers. But it just seems like when I hear black men and women fighting back and forth it reminds me how much work we have to do. It also shows me how strong the practice of white supremacy really is. It makes me feel as though they’re winning. *sigh*

    Your brother,KP

  29. CREE-EIGHT Says:

    My partner is the author of the piece, Part 4: A Tough Message from a Guy Who Says He’s Not So Tough. I suggest you talk to him, man to man.

  30. Denzelsausageton Says:

    I won’t ever give up on black females despite how angry or faithless they may be towards black males.

    Hey Cree8, I’m curious to know what your attempted partner feels about your stance on black males? Care to indulge?

  31. CREE-EIGHT Says:

    Denzelsausageton, you asked: “how can any females say they are counter-racist and at the same time and give up on your own brothers? To me that is a contradiction. And thats a question everyone who are sincere about RWSWJ needs to ask themselves.” It is sadly amusing to me that you would not assume that I/we asked and answered that question before I/we arrived at my/our current position.

    Black people will NEVER defeat Racist Man/Woman/Child as long as the current mistreatment of black females by black males persists. Black women are 50+% of the force. Think about that. Together, I do not believe that black folks can be defeated. But, existence without justice is meaningless. So, with both reluctance and with resolve, the wager must be made by black females that, when black males see the choice, they will turn it around. Either way, white domination will be over in OUR universe .

  32. Denzelsausageton Says:

    It is clearly evident that Cree8 and some of the other females victims who agrees with her has temporarily lost faith in black men, and I agree. It is justified.

    As a collective WE (black males) have fail all black females, and to be honest I don’t have the answers to solve this problem.

    However, how can any females say they are counter-racist and at the same time and give up on your own brothers? To me that is a contradiction. And thats a question everyone who are sincere about RWSWJ needs to ask themselves.

    And if we are in a system of racism/ white supremacy, then we have to focus our attention at the common enemy, and not on each other. I think a lot of black females under-estimate how confused a lot of our brothers are when it comes to the subject of racism/ white supremacy.

    To those of us who are less confused it is much easier to see all the confusion that is going on the plantation, but to those who are a lot more confused, they are completely oblivious to it all.

    Sun Tzu said “When your weapons are dulled and ardour damped, your strength exhausted and treasure spent, neighboring rulers will take advantage of your distress to act. And even though you have wise counsellors, none will be able to lay good plans for the future.

    Wise words indeed.

  33. It’s time black women focus on self and self only. We need to stop making excuses, for the vast majority of black men who could care less about us. If you have male children, try to teach them NOT to be sexist, but by the time they’re 13 they’ll have pick up all the negative images of black women from, TV, church and the vast majority of black, woman hatin’ men; who depise their mothers, sisters, wives and daughters.

    I suggest those “few good black men” support their brothas! I’m otta here and on to bigger and better things. Good luck black men I hope everything works out for you.

    For the few scared black men, you can come with us.

  34. sparkle86 Says:

    @so for real, I would kindly suggest you avoid name calling another confused victim. Nowhere in these posts did you see Cree or other posters name call another person despite differences in opinion. Name calling is unconstructive behavior designed for further conflict between victims and can easily derail an important issue because you end up focusing on a specific person rather than the larger issue at hand.

  35. […] An Official Withdrawal From The Battle For Black Manhood « Cree7′s Blog. […]

  36. now, blk man and woman are we surprised the bootlicker hughley would say something like this? i wasn`t, i never liked him, never thought he was funny along with his bootlicking friends steve harvey and cedric the entertainer. i know bernie mac (r.i.p) is saying is in his grave, i was friends with this sellout? i`m saddened that he would say these things along with other artist (nicki minaj and etc) who try to dog blk women out in the media. me myself was raised by a single mother and i know what sambo hughley said does not represent my mother, sister and all the wonderful blk women i`ve known. i don`t know man, but we got to do something about these traitors! to let them know that hey if you dog out blk women or blk men in the media there is going to be consequences for their actions.i like what you do cree and also like all the commenters that come on here and share their constructive views.so never mind me when i get off topic and start kickin the real lol cause i`m the type of person that will kick you in the ass (not you litterally) when you`re down and tell you to get up and that`s we got to do get up, start unifying so that the next generation of blk kids don`t think like us and sell us out like sambo hughley. in the words of tupac holler if you hear meh.

  37. @TrojanPam i can dig it… and i’m darker than the other side of the moon you don’t see and trust me ms pam. the relationship between blk men and women ain’t as bad as it is in the usa.

  38. CREE-EIGHT Says:

    Pam, I trust the sincerity of your guru. Let me ask you—and him– a question about the resentment he says black males feel about black women being perceived as “giving it to him [white men].” Wouldn’t black males have to value black women in order for that kind of deep-seated resentment to take hold? Assuming the answer to that is “yes,” what evidence is there of that?

  39. @ Cree7

    I thought I’d share some emails I received from a very EMPATHETIC and brilliant black brother (who I often refer to as “my Guru”) regarding the recent Reneathia Tate interview on COWS):

    “You know I have always said the same thing even at work, I have addressed the “black enough” brothers about women of color and why they continue to exploit a wounded sexuality which so many women of color have endured & expect to be exploited. Who are in fact taught by their mothers that exploitation is to be anticipated & that it is natural. Whether “White, Arab, Indian, Chinese or another Black man it is natural for a B-woman to Be exploited.”

    ——

    “…all societies have rule based sexual engagements; The major issue with B-man & B-woman is that they are emulators of the social mores of the slavery era & the B-man looks forward to sexually engaging the B-woman as an act of indignation. I hear it @ work all the time as well as on the street. Shame, shame, Shame!”

    —–

    (then I asked my Guru, “When you say “sexually engaging the B-woman as an act of indignation” could you enhance further?
    he responded with:)

    ——

    indignation: Anger or annoyance provoked by what is perceived as unfair treatment

    “During slavery and thereafter the B-woman was given greater consideration by the racists. Bcuz she was more pliant easier to bend than her stalwart mate and so many more social benefits came her way while her Black Brother was oftentimes reduced to begging and other schemes to make ends meet.

    “And this is where the meanness comes in; even today as one commutes downtown the unfair ratio B-W to B-M is readily discernible to even the most casual observer but this becomes complex bcuz the B-M doesn’t understand racism and he then concludes that the reason for the B-W having the job is she is giving freely of herself to the job-giver and she is perceived as a “Ho” and these latent feelings emerge when in intimacy and B-M is saying to himself in the worst depiction of the woman he’s riding “that I know you’re giving it to him”. And then the manifestation of cruelties and debasement.

    I’m sure you have experienced this either as you were yourself engaged or vicariously through another as she told her story of broken confidence.”

    ——————-
    ——————-

    Cree, I think it’s SUPER important that black males and females view our dysfunctional behaviors as a terrible, terrible legacy of 400 years of brutal slavery when we were taught to mistreat each other.

    Until we do that, public and private acts of “indignation” and abuse will continue.

    Once black males and females TELL THE TRUTH about the abuse of black females by males of all colors, including BLACK, we might be able to do what is necessary to save ourselves.

  40. CREE-EIGHT Says:

    This black woman has, indeed, lost her patience. And, from what I’m reading and hearing from other black females, I’m FAR from alone. Remember when white folks told us in the 50s and 60s that we were asking for too much too fast? Well, that’s the situation we have here. Patience is not and ought not be infinite. So, here we are at the nuclear option. We either go forward together or we go out together.

  41. I don’t know how black women will take this but if you make the decision to divorce yourself from the black man, nothing can be as destructive as that as far as bring black people up. That was the first plan for our destruction when we got here…destroy the relationship between black men and black women and I’m reading in this article to do just that. So, I don’t know what the solution is here. The black man has to change but it will take a long time and I’m reading in this article that the black woman has lost her patience.

  42. @ soforeal

    Of course, it’s not just about DL Hughely. It’s about feeling that black males saying and doing nothing when black females are CONSTANTLY publicly degraded and physically abused, often times by other black males.

    It’s about black females feeling (and knowing) that the empathy, concern and care that black males expect (and sometimes demand) from us — and just as often receive — is not being returned.

    Maybe you don’t care for the “flavor” or directness of Cree’s post but she is speaking for a LOT of black females who are afraid of alienating black males by telling the TRUTH about how we really feel.

    abandoned

    black females — hands down — are the most maligned people on the planet and the white supremacy system seems to have maneuvered and manipulated some ambitious black males into being their SPOKESMEN against black females.

    Yes, I know we’re all victims, and I know that black males have their own unique types of racist mistreatment

    BUT when it comes to disparaging comments made in PUBLIC by black celebrities about black members of the opposite sex, there is NO competition. Black males win — hands down.

    I don’t know how anyone can deny this. Many a black male I have talked to have admitted this (privately) but publicly they largely remaining silent. Why? That is something that I think I have figured out but I won’t say it here…

    Regardless, it’s a problem — and it’s causing a lot of HARD FEELINGS toward black males, and brother, (if you are one), you are going to NEED the good will and support of black females when the real deal goes down. Believe that.

    If we’re going to be ALLIES you must have my back if you expect me to continue having yours. I’m not saying ALL black females are doing more (or less) than all or most black males.

    I’m talking about the REALITY of black females (unfortunately) having to carry the WEIGHT of the black family and black community when the black male couldn’t (or wouldn’t) and getting so little appreciation OR respect in return

    we gotta tell the truth here…

    it goes without saying that our SUPPORT has always been something that most black males take for granted, via the momma, the grand momma, the auntie, the older sister, the church ladies, all the black ladies in MY town who are the workhorses for every black organization created to “save our black boys”

    now my question is:

    where are the organizations started by black males to save “our black girls?”

    come on now…

    And just for the record, I’m not talking about “love and sexual relationships”

    I’m talking SURVIVAL relationships — both financially, emotionally and physically — in the midst of a vicious white supremacist war against ALL of us.

    I don’t know if you’re black, but I’m sure black males and black females have plenty of “relationship issues” in Canada. You are STILL dominated by the system of white supremacy if you are non-white, and that alone guarantees conflict between black males and females.

  43. You know, I don’t know what is wrong with the mind of the black male. I always found it funny when a brother would say, “all black women want is to get money out of you”. I say, dude, you ain’t got no money. More black women work than black men. I know white women whisper these “sweet” nothings into black mens ears. They tell them how black bitches are evil and always begging which the negro gobbles up readily. He has not seen this behavior in that many black women. I haven’t except for the light skinned pretty black girls with the short skirts, long straight hair, and heavy makeup. They are like that but at least they don’t try to hide it and all the brothers want to have that eyecandy. But when she shows what she is about, the brother feels like she’s some kind of gold-digger then ALL black women are like her when that is not the case. I’m not picking on all light-skinned black girls either. Some of a darker hue behave this way too but they are the girls/women that get black mens pants hot and the ones they aggressively seek out so when the sustah says you got to pay to play, the brother says, “all these sustahs want you to give them some money”. I’ve never dated a woman I felt wanted or was trying to get money out of me. But the examples I’ve said earlier I have witnessed. It’s all superficial. Frankly, I don’t think a lot of black men can compete with a black woman on an intellectual level. That can be bad too because I have seen black women that completely dominate their men to the point he becomes like another child in the family. Him not being able to compete with her intellectually can also cause him to compete with her physically and end up fighting her. I don’t think the black woman finds/feels strength in the black male and we all seem to look alike to her. It’s pretty deep and I don’t really know what can be done. It’s obvious that some sustahs have given up on us and I guess I can’t blame them. But all I see her being able to do is just be alone, become lesbian, have relations with men outside your race, wait on us to become men. Take your pick because I don’t really see black mens minds changing anytime soon. These things they say about black women being angry and begging are not true so why do they say it? And if she is she’s just so disgusted with the pitiful black male. Haven’t read the entire article though.

  44. CREE-EIGHT Says:

    Both the author of this piece and I have made it clear that our decisions are based upon the collective action and inaction of black men—not just D.L. Hughley or Artis Hughes. As Brian, played by Billy Dee Williams, said in the 1975 movie, Mahogany, politics is like sex, “If you’re only for yourself you’re gonna be by yourself.” And, as I said in the comments to my Just Desserts piece on this blog, a common foe does not necessarily make parties allies. Black males, collectively, must demonstrate that they are black females’ allies before I’m willing to be in the fight with them against our common foe, white folks. As I said in those comments, it’s all or nothing with me.

  45. give up on blk men? lmao because of hughley? i bet white people treat her like crap and all the other females that made a comment on that post and they still support white people. thank god i live in canada because the women don`t have that mindset over here at least most don`t i`ll comment on sambo hughley later!

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