Black Men Magazine Covers Don’t Cover Contempt for Black Women

I’m supposed to criticize black women for crossing over? I cannot.

Let me first state that we are dealing with numbers here. It has gotten to be annoying but necessary to preface all comments that deal with social phenomena with an acknowledgement that what is discussed is of a general nature based upon statistical odds. Please do not reply with singular examples or point out that this does not apply to all black men or all black women. Obviously, it does not. Not all people fall ill to anything. An epidemic does not have to affect everyone for it to be an emergency.
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The evidence is that the vast majority of black men prefer women who look more like the non-black man’s mother when he was conceived than his own. That evidence is blaring in the dating site statistics; studies done by black people in social psychology journals; marriage and cohabitation studies done by black and white scientists and economists; the casting calls for rap videos, and, most importantly; the everyday experience of black girls and women. This last proof is what young women see when they walk into their brothers’, cousins’, and male friends’rooms or into convenience stores where black men are browsing these magazines. Friday night at the club shows more of the same. Black men carrying toddler seats to the restaurant table shows more of the same.

Statistics showing that currently married black men are mostly married to black women do not contradict this evidence. A large percentage of black men do not marry at all. And, when they do, they overwhelmingly strive to do so with women who have traits atypical of black women in any significant part of Africa that has not been exposed to admixture with non-black genetics. Again, this a matter of plain fact that is demonstrated by solid scientific data. Men all over the world have always availed themselves of the opportunity to put their penises in the available vaginas when the vaginas of the women they most desired—- beyond their genital’s ability to produce brief physical pleasure with eyes closed, if necessary— were not available. And, when there are no vaginas, the evidence is that many men will use another man’s rectum. So, the mere result of a nappy-headed baby being born of such sexual contact is not any evidence of preference for their nappy-headed mothers.

The evidence is also that the overwhelming majority of black women, however, prefer black men over every other type of men. Said evidence can be found in all of the sources referenced in the paragraph above this one.

These are the facts. This is not a matter of “debating over who’s been oppressed the worst, who isn’t valued the most, who’s been hurt the most etc.” It is, to me, disingenuous to attempt to put this matter of preference in a hat with all of the issues termed “gender wars” between black men and black women. All other matters of behavior are moot between a man and a woman when the man really does not want her because of how she looks. This is similar to tabling all communication and other issues when one spouse learns that the other is homosexual.

So, what are the millions of black women to do with no prospects of marrying a black man who truly wants and desires her? She has four options:
1) Be back-up pu$$y whether dating or married;
2) Be in a polygynous relationship with one of the few black men who do genuinely prefer black women;
3) Be celibate; * In my view, this includes changing one’s intimacy orientation to lesbianism and seeking to only have one’s eggs fertilized by some means unrelated to heterosexual pair-bonding.
4) Accept an offer of marriage or a date she believes could lead to marriage with a non-black man

These are all bad options compared to being with a black man who truly desires her. Option 1 encourages this trend among black men to continue or accelerate and is the option most black women are taking. But, for most black women, each of these four options compromise both her physical and emotional health. Far be it from me to criticize any black woman for reaching for the poisoned food from which she is left to choose. It is up to black men to work among themselves to get the poison out of the soil.

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If you have food to offer me in a prison when I have none, how do you with any sanity and honor criticize me for taking food from a guard? That is what black men do who criticize black women for accepting offers from white men.

* “Option 3” was amended to correct an oversight that originalwoman13 pointed out in the comments to this piece.

Just Say No to Combs

It’s just plain math, i.e., logic. No one likes pain. IF combing hair causes pain and hair must/should be combed, THEN, hair that can be combed with no/less pain IS “good hair.”

Time is precious. IF combing hair rakes a lot of time and hair must/should be combed, THEN, hair that can be combed with no/less time IS “good hair.”

If you have very tightly coiled-hair that you don’t regularly change into not-so-bad hair with chemical or mechanical heat, your hair could logically be reasoned to be bad unless you style your hair WITHOUT COMBING in a manner that does not require pain or undue time (more than about 90 minutes per week). Or, unless you shave it all off.

I do not have “bad hair” and I am not bald. My hair is a mix of curls of various diameters (some natural and some fashioned with conditioner and my fingers) and naps and locs. I REASONABLY de-tangle my hair with my fingers before and after washing. I do use scissors to clean the lines here and there as I got myself emotionally unattached to length except enough to see the luxurious, has-its-own-mind textures. But, I’ve no need to rid my head of every single tangle anymore than I’ve a need for the shrubbery in my yard to look just like the grass. And, I get compliments all the time on both my hair and my yard.

I had a math problem to solve and I solved it.

In South Africa, during “apartheid,” white folks would administer the “comb test” to determine whether to classify some children as “coloured” (mixed race) and, therefore qualified to be spared of some mistreatment coming to those classified as black. THAT is a “racially biased” test if ever I heard of one. I refuse to administer it to myself.

I must, according to my counter-racist code, tell the truth about my weaknesses and faults in any matter that I solicit the same of others. And, that truth is that I did not correctly solve this problem at the time that I chose to have offspring. I solved the “bad hair” problem of my offspring by selecting a father with straight hair. He also has pink skin.