Black Men Magazine Covers Don’t Cover Contempt for Black Women

I’m supposed to criticize black women for crossing over? I cannot.

Let me first state that we are dealing with numbers here. It has gotten to be annoying but necessary to preface all comments that deal with social phenomena with an acknowledgement that what is discussed is of a general nature based upon statistical odds. Please do not reply with singular examples or point out that this does not apply to all black men or all black women. Obviously, it does not. Not all people fall ill to anything. An epidemic does not have to affect everyone for it to be an emergency.
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The evidence is that the vast majority of black men prefer women who look more like the non-black man’s mother when he was conceived than his own. That evidence is blaring in the dating site statistics; studies done by black people in social psychology journals; marriage and cohabitation studies done by black and white scientists and economists; the casting calls for rap videos, and, most importantly; the everyday experience of black girls and women. This last proof is what young women see when they walk into their brothers’, cousins’, and male friends’rooms or into convenience stores where black men are browsing these magazines. Friday night at the club shows more of the same. Black men carrying toddler seats to the restaurant table shows more of the same.

Statistics showing that currently married black men are mostly married to black women do not contradict this evidence. A large percentage of black men do not marry at all. And, when they do, they overwhelmingly strive to do so with women who have traits atypical of black women in any significant part of Africa that has not been exposed to admixture with non-black genetics. Again, this a matter of plain fact that is demonstrated by solid scientific data. Men all over the world have always availed themselves of the opportunity to put their penises in the available vaginas when the vaginas of the women they most desired—- beyond their genital’s ability to produce brief physical pleasure with eyes closed, if necessary— were not available. And, when there are no vaginas, the evidence is that many men will use another man’s rectum. So, the mere result of a nappy-headed baby being born of such sexual contact is not any evidence of preference for their nappy-headed mothers.

The evidence is also that the overwhelming majority of black women, however, prefer black men over every other type of men. Said evidence can be found in all of the sources referenced in the paragraph above this one.

These are the facts. This is not a matter of “debating over who’s been oppressed the worst, who isn’t valued the most, who’s been hurt the most etc.” It is, to me, disingenuous to attempt to put this matter of preference in a hat with all of the issues termed “gender wars” between black men and black women. All other matters of behavior are moot between a man and a woman when the man really does not want her because of how she looks. This is similar to tabling all communication and other issues when one spouse learns that the other is homosexual.

So, what are the millions of black women to do with no prospects of marrying a black man who truly wants and desires her? She has four options:
1) Be back-up pu$$y whether dating or married;
2) Be in a polygynous relationship with one of the few black men who do genuinely prefer black women;
3) Be celibate; * In my view, this includes changing one’s intimacy orientation to lesbianism and seeking to only have one’s eggs fertilized by some means unrelated to heterosexual pair-bonding.
4) Accept an offer of marriage or a date she believes could lead to marriage with a non-black man

These are all bad options compared to being with a black man who truly desires her. Option 1 encourages this trend among black men to continue or accelerate and is the option most black women are taking. But, for most black women, each of these four options compromise both her physical and emotional health. Far be it from me to criticize any black woman for reaching for the poisoned food from which she is left to choose. It is up to black men to work among themselves to get the poison out of the soil.

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If you have food to offer me in a prison when I have none, how do you with any sanity and honor criticize me for taking food from a guard? That is what black men do who criticize black women for accepting offers from white men.

* “Option 3” was amended to correct an oversight that originalwoman13 pointed out in the comments to this piece.

COUNTER-RACIST BOOK REVIEW: Black Love is a Revolutionary Act

399 pages,  Trojan Horse Press,  2011

“When a man ignores a woman’s femininity, it’s taking away  their ‘rights’ or ‘powers’ as a woman which means they can’t function as a female and may doubt their femininity…most white females are less likely to ask ‘why do you not treat me like a lady?,’  consequently they will be puzzled that a male,  especially a black male is de-feminizing them if they even guess that it’s occurring.  This means that the black male has the power in that situation because the white female will always thirst for an answer to why you treat her like she has a penis instead of a vagina and two breasts.  All of this equals power and actually empowers black females when they are made aware of what you are doing.  They love it which means I love it”—  excerpt of a black male’s  conduct code toward white females (pp. 390)

And, that’s not even the full passage citing the black male calling himself Black Mergatroid.   His explanation of his sexual conduct code as well as a look at the parallel code used by white males in relation to black females are,  by themselves,  worth the $19.95 price of this phenomenal book.   Black Love is a Revolutionary Act was penned by an anonymous group of black authors writing under the pseudonym, Umoja (Swahili for Unity).   On the very first page of the preface, these authors give a five-paragraph explanation for their anonymity that is so principled that I was almost hooked before I read the first page of the text.   The five paragraphs are headed: “There is nothing original about the ideas presented here.  The authors are not seeking fame.  The authors reserve the right NOT to be a distraction to the message. Every word in this book was designed to inform.  You may not agree with everything or anything written here.”    Who wouldn’t want to at least skim a book that the authors think is so important that they do not take credit for it? 

This is the most ambitious book about black male-black female relations on which you’ll likely ever set eyes.   Its scope is so large that it would have more naturally fit and been organized into three or four volumes instead of the one.   I can only conclude that Umoja was compelled  by the urgent need to provide this information.   Black Love is a Revolutionary Act {BLRA( rhymes with “Laura”)} aims to change the minds and behavior around a subject about which most black people who still have a sex drive are passionate but majorly dazed and confused.  It’s what most of the yelling on black talk radio is about:  Why it is so difficult for black males and black females to get together,  stay together,  and have peace between us?

Umoja gives early notice that the reader should not expect to find within BLRA any advice on flirting, dating, or bedroom technique.   And,  I’ll warn the church and mosque sisters and brothers that they won’t find in the book any tips on how to slap a mouthy black female or on how a black female can dutifully but happily “submit” to her husband.   BLRA  lets (black)  readers know that the problem is not us.   No.   The problem is white people.

@#%*!

I know, I know.   How, exactly,  do you say to Generation X,  Y and Next,  “Wake up! It’s the doings of Racist Man and Racist Woman!”  and  keep them reading your book?   If you’ve ever tried to make such an announcement during one of their gender bashing “discussions,” you know you’ll be shouted down before you can finish two sentences.   FaceBook compliments pile up on comments that pronounce the exact opposite.   You can start taking bows when you say that the personal behavior of black people “is not the white man’s fault.”   But, if you tell that same audience that Racist Man and Racist Woman are white and white only—that there are no black racists—you almost certainly will land in an exhausting debate on that point alone.  See, you can’t assume that Generation X, Y, and Next have any knowledge of a global system running so smoothly by the time they were born that they have no idea they are in it. 

So, yeah, how do you get people who just want some pointers on how to hook up with the honey with the light eyes to read about slavery,  Jim Crow,  and counter-racist codification?   Well,  as Morpheus said to Neo,  they have to be shaken,  given a crash course,  and told they don’t have much time.   This is the ambitious work that Umoja  took on.   And, these authors seem to have given it everything they’ve got like Patti Labell doing the last stanza of her last encore.   I cannot recall ever reading a non-fiction book that makes such wide use of poetry,  short stories, parables,  reporting,  photos,  news clippings,  historical narrative,  and quotes by notables such a s Elijah Muhammad, Malcolm X, and Sun Tzu.

Umoja’s hook for Generation X,Y,Next is a little bit of  street light lit, I think.   It’s a wrenching fictional short story appearing as the first chapter that is only about two pages long.  This beginning story  serves as a metaphor for the the way that black females and males have generally come to view each other.   It is about a black couple whose “perfect marriage” was shattered by the gunpoint rape of the wife in the bedroom of their residence while her husband watched helplessly.   The husband blames his wife as a way of avoiding his sense of shame for not being able to protect her.  The wife blames the husband for his  unfaithfulness and inattentiveness to her after the event and,  secretly,  for not even trying to fight the attacker.   At the end of the story, Umoja,  asks the reader to imagine  “Your son, daughter, mother, father, grandmother, grandfather,  wife,  or husband being beaten, tortured,  stripped naked, fondled, raped, or murdered right in front of your eyes—and there was nothing you could do to stop it from happening” and, then Umoja says “to understand GENDER WARS between the black male and female, we must start where it all began.”   Having hooked the reader enough to turn to the next page, Umoja  makes the following statement in bold typeface covering that entire page:  

After racism/ white supremacy, the biggest problem in Black America is NOT crime, drugs, poverty, or inferior schools;  it’s the BLACK GENDER WAR between the black male and black female.

The authors  go on to define “gender wars” as the pitting of each gender against the other by people more powerful than us and to give 25 characteristic misbehaviors in which you’re likely to find one or more of your pet peeves.   I know I found mine (I’m not telling which they are).   To be sure,  that’s one thing that black people are not short on—things we dislike about other black people.   It’s standard in  the victim software that’s loaded onto every one our brain-computers by Racist Man and Racist Woman.    After all,  there’s really nothing charming about being a victim.   Here are six of those 25 examples:

 •  Black males uplifting white females above black females

•  Black females uplifting white males above black males

•  Black fathers abusing,  abandoning,  or competing with their sons.

•  Black mothers  abusing,  abandoning,  or competing with their daughters.

•  Black females who condone  “sexism”  against other black females

•  Black males who refuse to support or encourage other black males.

Being validated in our righteous indignation at the actions of other black folk, we are eager to read on in order to to find more about how we’ve been wronged and just how wrongheaded those wrongs were.    Mmm-hmmm.   Y’all acting like some slaves ’round  here!  Speak on Umoja!  Tell ’em about slavery!

They do.  (Along the way,  Umoja takes the time to dispel the myth that black people are responsible for these horrors through our participation in the selling of other black people in the part  of the world called Africa or that our ancestors are responsible for this unprecedented abuse because of their  passive acceptance of it.   So,  if you were whetting your appetite for some of that kind of bashing,  you’re motivated to read further for other opportunities. You’ll be handed no such chances though.)   I don’t suggest that you try to eat your lunch while you’re reading this part.  When you’ve finished the first eight chapters,  you’ll understand the awe-full talent that white people have for turning out horror films.   They let this “talent” rip on us— literally— during the explicit slavery stage of white supremacy (racism).   If  you combined all the Oscar-nominated horror films and then added several scenes  with public hole-splitting penetration and some more with fetus extraction by a dull ax,  the result would still not come close to the  imaginative genius of white people for their cruelty toward black people  that was put on display during 400 years of explicit slavery.   Umoja makes a persuasive, science-based case that the effects of all this cruelty are probably in our genes.  I say it it has to be.   Though, it also seems obvious to me that sadism toward black people is in the genes of white folk.   As nightmarish as these galaxies-beyond-cruel practices were,  the greatest damage was inflicted by something else exposed by BLRA:   It’s a prohibition  that extended from explicit slavery through Jim Crow etiquette and exists to this day:

Black males and black females are not permitted to show affection to each other [without severe, albeit now informal, penalty. ] (Pp. 45).

It is the horror that this sight causes in white people that drives all of their horrifying acts toward us in this war they have been waging on us for at least hundreds of years.   On that, Umoja and I agree.  I say the horror derives from their intense sense of sexual inadequacy while Umoja thinks it’s their fear of white genetic survival.  I’ll comment further on our few points of disagreement later in this review.

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Even after making the case for Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome in chapters 16-19,  I can still hear Gen X, Y,  and Next talking to the book sarcastically asking,  “What’s stopping black males/females from acting like they got good sense with each other today?   Weren’t Slavery and Jim Crow gone well before our parents were born?”   This is Umoja’s  only window to explain what white supremacy is.  How it works.  How it damages black people.   While they’re at it, Umoja tells another engaging story to demonstrate why all white people should,  at the very least, be suspected of practicing racism by all black people.   ALL white people, even nice  Becky and Seth.  Umoja says all of this in just ten pages.   Only time will tell how effective these ten pages are.  My sense is that the importance of these pages will only be comprehended after several re-readings.   Each time these pages are revisited,  the initiate will be reminded of Neely Fuller’s most famous maxim,  “If you don’t understand white supremacy (racism), what it is and how it works,  everything else that you understand will only confuse you.”

From here on,  Umoja asks more from Gen XYNext than their attention.  They ask for self-reflection. 

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“Once you convince someone to hate the reflection in their mirror, you can convince them of anything.”—Umoja (Pp. 162)

It has always been a mystery to me how any black person could openly make comments like “He got good hair,”   “She’s fine.   She looks part Mexican.”  Or,  “Their blessed.   They are dark but they had two yellow,  butter-colored kids.”   I can’t understand that kind of talk any more than I can understand people who cut themselves for pleasure.   So,  I don’t know how to talk to people who don’t have enough self-protective instinct to use maximum effort to toss such trash out of their minds.   I bow to Umoja for laying that out.

For sure,  the biggest part of sexual attraction is visual,  especially for males.  So,  it would be difficult to dedicate too many pages to the discussion of the vicious brain-trashing (a term I coined) perpetrated by Racist Man and Racist Woman against black people’s judgment of black females’ appearance.   BLRA does not make that mistake.   About 50 pages are devoted to that topic with chapter or paragraph headings such as:

“Black Inferiority Complexes Are Rooted in Our Mirrors”

“White Beauty Standards Are Contemptuous of All Women”

“Straight Talk About Nappy Hair”

“Baby, Let You Hair Hang Down”

“The Joy Of Nappy Humor”

“Black Male Invalidation of Black Females”

“How the Language of White Supremacy Penalizes Black Females”

“An Unconscious Black Celebration of Self-Hatred”

“Why Black Female Entertainers Must Wear Weaves That Look Like Weaves”

“The Defective ,  Undesirable Black Female Theme (on TeeVee)”

In the remaining chapters, BLRA builds on the sober acknowledgment that the bullets fired at us by the Racist Man and Racist Woman never stop flying past our heads and into them especially when we are engaging the opposite gender in an affectionate way.   Umoja makes it clear that the sexual organ feared most by white people is not to be found in Tyrone’s and LaShae’s Hanes.  It’s  their brains.   The authors help the reader refocus on common phenomena with counter-racist glasses and to modify our behavior accordingly.   They examine phenomena like:

 •  the adoption of  black infants by white starlets

•  the growing choice of black females to date other black females

•  the propaganda in politics and entertainment that pushes homosexuality and cross-dressing in black males ( including sagging pants, feminine jewelry, and tight clothing)

•  the coercion of black males to be nothing other than a clown, satisfied boy, or pretend female

•  the school failure of black males

•  the locking up of black males

•  the  terrorism by white enforcement officials against black males

•  Tryone dating Becky and LaShae dating Seth (One of Tyrone’s cousins was Omar Thornton, the Connecticut gunman, and LaShae once phoned white radio host Laura Schlessinger to complain that her white husband often used or condoned racist speech)

•  The black talking heads that are paid to spin around but never pin horns on the racists (white supremacists)

BLRA makes it clear why many of us  have become so disoriented by our opponents that  we are shooting back at each other.  Previous attempts to neutralize the artillery designed for our male-female formations have usually been too soft— too timid or polite— to be an effective helmet.  We’ve needed more protection than standard issue applause generators like  “We need to embrace the beauty in all of our beautiful sistas, light and dark.”  or “There are a lot of good brothas out here who get a bad rap because of bitter sistas who can’t appreciate a hard-working brotha.”   That ain’t gonna get the job done.  Darker-skinned females know this is just a technique to keep black males from having to administer some self-help for their addiction to milk in their honey that is  fed to them in the IV called the TV.   And,  many a black male has to front like he’s one of those hard-working brothas even though most of the time white people see to it that he has NO job at which to work so hard.   But,   Black Love is a Revolutionary Act  (BLRA) delivers solid head-wear.    This book opens the door to this unsanitized,  thoroughly unsexy, poorly equipped emergency department filled with relationships brutally aborted or amputated by the system of white supremacy (racism).   The summary on the back of this volume describes it as  “the most dangerous book in America.”   And,  if you’ve heard my partner, Sonny, and I discourse on my blogtalkradio program about the subject of hostility towards black male-female coupling,  it should come as no surprise that I am inclined to agree that it,  indeed,  has the potential to be as dangerous as it is billed.    That is not to say,  though,  that I agree with all of the conclusions reached in this work.   Or,  that my differences with it are all minor.  I am reassured, however, that the authors explicitly acknowledge that such disagreement is possible if not probable.

I’ll state my differences for the record:

 A)  While Umoja asserts that the “bottom line” for Racist Man and Racist Woman is white genetic survival,  I think that the evidence better supports that it is white people’s fear of lack of sexual access—to each other and to black people—that drives their compensatory system.  Neither pale skin nor darker skin is genetically dominant.   And, white people seem to have far less difficulty claiming their “miscegenated”offspring of the opposite gender.   White males have never seemed scared about placing their seed in the womb of a black female.  But, they can’t run white supremacy by themselves.  And, Racist Woman ain’t havin it.  Nevertheless, Umoja and I agree that the single most important thing that black people must do to  counter the global SYSTEM of racism (white supremacy) is stay very, very  far away from the genitals of all white people.   In May 2009,  I penned a post on my theory of the “bottom line” for Racist Man and Racist Woman and titled it as such.  I was job-hunting then.  So,  I locked it.   I may unlock it soon. ** My theoretical framework on this has evolved significantly in this. Genetic survival with emphasis on instincts not phenotype is now my posited causative agent for the behavior of “white supremacy.”: Oxyhominoids

 B)  Umoja states that the greater perceived beauty of white females compared to black females is not the greatest motivator for black males who date and “marry” white women.  This conclusion seems to be based on the fact that many of these white females are chosen over black females who have far more balanced facial features and far fitter, more shapely bodies. I have concluded that to these black males, the traits of pale skin and straight hair are, in themselves, so beautiful that they compensate for almost any other deficiencies in physical attractiveness.   A black male so afflicted is going to need to donate his television to the city dump and go on a de-trashing program for at least 1 year.   Otherwise, he’s going to end up in a bed with a black female who is going to have to be a superb mental gymnast to delude herself that she’s passionately desired by him.

 C)  I do not really believe that,  as Umoja states,  young black males have a higher regard for another black male who has been in greater confinement (prison) than for one that has graduated from college.  I’ve taught too many of them in “urban” high schools to believe that.  That’s just frontin’  or “playin it off” as they say.  The schooling process is now such a feminine one—requiring stillness  and passivity—that even many white males are now failing in the public schools.   These white males are the collateral damage in the strategy targeting black males who are generally more masculine.  Racists (white supremacists)  have so stacked the deck against success for black males that it’s only healthy for them to seek validation in what’s available for them.  But, really, if they had the choice, almost all black males would rather be walking across a stage being announced as suma cum laude—whether that’s a good or bad aspiration.  Further,  it’s been my experience that black males are no different than anyone else in that mastery;  that is, learning how to do a constructive thing well,  is a great motivator.

I should also say that I’m not crazy about the way the authors used the word “dark” to mean something sinister in one of their sub-headings.   And, they use a different definition for both “love” and “America” than I try to use.  If  I didn’t think I’d be in a conversation clarifying my stance on these definitions after this review is read,  I wouldn’t have mentioned it.   Consistently using codified vocabulary is a life-long project.  

Those differences being stated,  I want to make it clear that I would fight like Harriet Tubman to get this book included in the curriculum of any black “independent” high school or college.   There is nothing more important to black people than our male-female relations.   Black people have been enduring such severe abuse for so long that, a thousand years from now, the heroic effort it will take to triumph over this domination will likely be regarded  by our descendants as one of the great fables of high art.   In that event,  Umoja should certainly be one of the epic heroes.

Get your copy of this book at www. trojanhorse1.com.

So, White Women Are Less Demanding?

A black male recently wrote an explanation for his choice to date white women. I have heard so many versions of this rationale that I could count them to fall asleep. So, I’m stating my response for the record to which I will refer all subsequent reciters of this mantra. First, his story:

Even within our race their seems a sense of entitlements that should not exist. One of the things that caused me to get extremely frustrated with dating Black women was the sense of entitlement to dictating the way everything should go, as if they were owed something. They didn’t have to earn anything. When I was dating outside of Black women, that was different. I’ll give you two examples; Latina women will cook for you, Black women will tell you, “I ain’t your mother.” White women will chill in the house when you’re broke, Black women will tell you the second you decline going out, “How come we don’t ever go anywhere?!”

I know there are exceptions to the rule. But I’m very adamant about saying, that we are not judged by our inconsistencies, but by our consistencies. And if the large majority of you are one way, you need to huddle with your people about what the majority voice is before coming to me claiming to be the exception. I’ve been consistently happier dating white and Latina women than I have been dating Black women. I actually felt like I could be myself, I wasn’t living up to some norm or standard that I didn’t have any part in creating.”

My response:
Sir, you say about/to black females, “If the large majority of you are one way, you need to huddle with your people about what the majority voice is before coming to me claiming to be the exception.” Why don’t you apply this logic to white women? Every white person I have observed in an intimate association with a black person consistently deflects and derails that black person’s effort to counter racism (white supremacy). That includes the white men I have dated and the one I “married” years ago. I CANNOT be myself when I’m with someone who does that. Especially because countering racism (white supremacy) is my assigned mission given that no major problem that exists between people can be solved without first eliminating the system of racism (white supremacy). Those problems include the mammoth ones that exist between black males and black females.

Countering racism (white supremacy) is the activity in which I should be engaged at all times. No white person is going to support that or even tolerate it. A white bed-mate will constantly be telling you that white people have the same problems that you have and that it is not about color. That it is about “power” and “out-groups,” blah, blah, blah… It will be passive aggression and/or sly hate-f@cking throughout. As Neely Fuller says, “It turns the black person’s brain to mush.” The black person will not be not suspicious that the white person he/she is intimate with is a racist (white supremacist) and that clearance will extend to the vipers nest all around him/her.

It is true that black females too often fail to understand racism (white supremacy) and, so, will demand things that a black male is not likely allowed to consistently provide. A white woman will only demand that you don’t talk clearly and often about the most important facet of your existence. In so doing, she is really demanding that you don’t think clearly about it and, therefore, that you don’t think clearly about anything. A white woman will demand your sanity or your soul. Black females’ demands are child’s play compared to that. — Oh, and white women—and that includes many Hispanic women— are in a position to be relaxed with black males because they are in control. That is why they are less needy. But, white women are actually infinitely more greedy, especially the ones raiding the slave quarters.

Finally, black males often say that black females “don’t deserve” the material comforts that a black male can provide either during the attempted marriage or after. But, I have never heard either a white male or a black male say that about a white woman. Never. Is it that a black female must compensate for her lesser value to you? Is that what you mean when you say black females frustrated you by behaving as if we are owed something we “haven’t earned?” I suspect so. If I were dating you and you admitted that sad fact, I’d try to forgive you and give you space to heal from your brain-trashing. And, I hope you would be as patient with me as I worked to correct my expectations. Thankfully, I am in a partnership with a black male in which we both understand that we must work to help replace the system of racism (white supremacy) with a system of justice for us to ever have a chance at a fully supportive, mutual partnership. May you find the same.